Bad Dad
I know it, but didn't at the time, eventho I'm just fine with it, too, by the way. You get tattoos, you get kids. If you're a good dad, your kids, at least prepubescently, your kids will probably love you. I have one that does. I have another on the way (I bet you didn't know about that, huh?--I've been bad lately. We'll leave it at that), and I think he'll love me, too. Anyway, some kids of parents like videogames because their douchebag dads do nothing but play videogames. (Tho some like videogames because they're fun.) Some kids like painting (like mine) because they're good at it & they get encouragement. Well, when daddy has a big fat dead Jesus head on his elbow, well, then sweet little Onna is going to want something to let the kids at Scottsdale Fashion Square know she's not with the crocs-wearing dad that lost his nuts thru the ventholes of those stupid things, or the greasy business suit dad, or the fake-GQ-cal baptist worship-leader dad. She's with the dad-you-should-keep-your-moms-away-from-dad. (Or something.) Bottom line is, Ana Parker had it right ten years before the rest: platinum punk. No more flannel, she said: it's going to be gucci and tattoos and all the rest. That was like 1996. Now, 2008, we still have our black & grey sleeves (or whatever), but they're holding vintage gucci attaches instead of dickies messenger bags. No more doc martins--it's dolce & gabbana laceups. That said, it's no wonder Onna has taken to the knuckle tattoos. But I tell her like I tell everyone else: you get too much ink and you'll be like the middle ages (or America ca. 2009): no middle class: you're a badass lawyer, business owner, or mfa-trustfund-asshole on the LES--or you're rollin' deep on tour or rollin' deep in the kitchen of some place. There's no shame it it: but those are the options. Onna's thinkin' (I can already tell)--dad, these dichotomies are so passe: being a tattooer is a solid middle-class lifestyle.
Well, it's good to know you're raised them, if with nothing else, with some critical thinking skills.
posted by Joseph Mains at
3:30 PM
4 Comments:
I love you with all of my sunken and despare tickled heart.
good to know you haven't taken up the castrati footwear of choice. but i can't help but feel a little bit of unease at the comparison of all of these different father types. is it that we can simply choose one commodity over the other? i realize that there is something subversive in gucci plus tattoos, but how subversive can it be? Not even sure if subversion is an option. Anyway, glad to be a fellow traveler in the non-crocs non-worship leading father crowd none the less. keep up the good work.
i hope your boy is as cool as O. tell her hello for me. its great to have you blogging more again.
this blog made me miss you oh so much. i wish i had a mini-Joe in my pocket to say things like this all day long to me. (get your mind out of the gutter! i know you too well. i already know you're there.)
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